I recently signed up to a newsletter from Your Courageous Life. I love receiving the email each week as it perks me up, especially now while I’m looking for a job. One of the things I’ve done which I think is courageous for me is to contact someone from my LinkedIn network and organise a meeting, feeling nervous about this!, which is why, for me, it’s courageous.
Today’s email is about being indestructible. What I really like about these emails is the questions asked after I have read the article, which are framed by Kate Courageous. A wonderful place to gain self-confidence.
After reading the piece, ask yourself: What have you been telling yourself about your limitations? How much power have you been giving other people to determine “who” you are, what you believe, or how you live your life?
One thing I’ve recently realised about myself is that I tend to ‘give power’ to those who I perceive as more intelligent or more knowledgeable than me. I find I wrestle with the idea of being an intelligent person when while growing up my family behaved toward me as if I were a dumb blonde. I learned to fulfil my family’s view of me and since adulthood have been trying to get over it. Some days are better than others and I’m quite ok when my family is not around!
If you were committed to changing that pattern, what would you start doing–now, today, without another moment’s hesitation?
Gee, I’m hesitating already and am finding this question a little confronting which now makes me wonder if there’s some kind of investment I have in remaining ‘a dumb blonde’. I know I’m not a dumb blonde as I’ve achieved two degrees. So what do I get out of maintaining the façade? I remain unnoticed or I can slip under the radar and get on with what I do well. I rarely trumpet my skills, knowledge and experience, except when looking for work and even then it’s on paper and for me the proof is in doing.
Who would you forgive? Consider that forgiveness is part of this equation. We forgive others for attempting to impose their beliefs on us, or for causing us to go through experiences we might not have otherwise chosen. Then we forgive ourselves–taking responsibility for the ways in which we’ve let external circumstances influence our choices, our beliefs, our Stories.
Already forgiven myself and my family. I have realised that it’s not what my family did that has caused my perception but it’s how I’ve interpreted their behaviour. This has been quite liberating and I enables me to remember this whenever I’m with my family (at least I try too – sometimes I’m too sensitive).
Keep playing with this: How do you live your life if you live from this infinite place? What defenses could be dropped?
With confidence in my ability to be me and I know that this can be fragile and will disappear the moment there is a family like behaviour or situation but working on it, as Kate Courageous says, from moment to moment to moment …